


Coffee Run (catch your breath)

by 27dragons



Series: imaginetonyandbucky fills [19]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: (but only barely), (mentioned but not described), Alpha Tony Stark, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, M/M, Omega Bucky Barnes, Past Rape/Non-con, Running Away, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-02 02:32:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17879405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/27dragons/pseuds/27dragons
Summary: Prompt fill forimaginetonyandbucky: Imagine traumatized omega!Bucky panicking during his and Tony’s first sexual encounter. Self preservation instincts kick in and Bucky hurts Tony. Horrified, he tries to leave while Tony isnt at home, only to be caught in the doorway. Tony reassures Bucky and they have happy fluffy fulfilling sex and cuddle.





	Coffee Run (catch your breath)

The hell of it was, everything had been going _wonderfully_. Whatever Tony’s playboy reputation, he’d taken the whole courting thing slowly and respectfully, with never so much as a hint that he was feeling impatient to move things along. Hell, _Bucky_ was the one who’d been champing at the bit by the time Tony had cautiously suggested that maybe Bucky might want to stay the night.

And that had been amazing, too. Tony had been a considerate and more than generous lover, checking on Bucky’s comfort level frequently and pouring out an unending torrent of praise and appreciation and -- oh, god, Bucky had _forgotten_ that sex could be good, that it could be a dance of joy and pleasure, and not a distasteful necessity or a punishment to suffer. Bucky had nearly wept with relief and gratitude, losing himself in the primal give and take, delighting in the gentle touch of Tony’s work-calloused hands, the play of firm muscle under Tony’s skin, the warm and loving look in Tony’s eyes.

Until Tony knelt up and his shadow fell over Bucky’s face and he was transported back _there_ , and--

Everything jolted, and Bucky was suddenly off the bed in a defensive crouch, panting through the fear and loathing, and Tony was... Oh, _god_ , Tony was in a heap against the far wall, where Bucky had obviously _thrown him_.

“Oh god,” Bucky breathed, and fell to his knees. “Oh god, Tony--”

Tony groaned and rolled over. “Fuck,” he grated. “Ow. Okay, I’m... I’m okay, I think.” He climbed up onto his hands and knees, cautiously testing his limbs and joints. “Yeah. Just bruised, it looks like.” He sat back on his heels and rubbed at his shoulder a little, and then looked at Bucky. “You all right, sweetheart? What happened?”

And that, that right there. Tony’s obviously concern for Bucky, when _Tony_ was the one who’d been hurt... That was when Bucky realized that he could never, not if he lived to be a thousand years old, not if he were _sainted_ , never, _ever_ deserve Tony Stark.

Bucky groped blindly behind him for the edge of the bed, dropped onto it and put his hands over his face, mind racing. “Tony, god, I’m so, so sorry.”

“Hey, sweetheart, no,” Tony said, and he came closer, close enough to touch, close enough that Bucky could feel the faint heat radiating from his skin. “Obviously I triggered something, that’s not your fault. Can you tell me what it was? Do you know?”

Bucky shook his head, shrinking down into himself.

“All right, that’s okay. Can I-- Can I touch you?”

Bucky shook his head frantically, half-panicked at the very thought. If Tony touched him... If Tony touched him, Bucky would lose all resolve. He would just curl into the warmth of Tony’s embrace and tuck his head down against Tony’s chest to breathe in the spicy, metallic scent of him, and never let go.

“Okay,” Tony said gently. “Okay, I won’t, I’ll just--” He shuffled back a little, and Bucky missed that nearness immediately.

 _You don’t deserve that_ , Bucky reminded himself, and choked on a sob.

“It’s going to be all right,” Tony promised. “Honey? Is there... Is there anything I can do for you? Anything at all?”

 _Opportunity._ Bucky thought fast, calculating times and distances. “It’s, uh. Gonna sound stupid,” he said.

“Anything at all,” Tony repeated, earnest. “I just want to help you, sweetheart.”

“I want... I want one of those stupid sugar-and-cream lattes,” Bucky said. “With, like, _all_ the whipped cream.” It was late; the line at the Starbucks wouldn’t be very long, but it would be enough time for Bucky to gather his things and leave.

Tony might be sad for a while, but then he’d get over it. He’d find someone else, someone who could make him really _happy_.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to leave you alone if you’re freaking out.”

Bucky swallowed. “I could use a couple of minutes,” he said softly. “To... to pull myself together.”

Tony hesitated, then, “Okay. Okay, honey. You just... You rest. And I’ll be back as soon as I can, all right?”

Bucky listened as Tony pulled on some clothes and retrieved his wallet and keys. The door opened. “It’s going to be okay,” Tony said again, and then he was gone.

Bucky gave himself exactly two minutes to look around, to drink in every detail, to make himself a memory of the place he’d been so happy. Appreciated and cherished. When his throat closed up and his eyes swam with tears, he dashed down to his apartment, snatched up a duffle bag, and began to stuff his things into it. Sturdy, nondescript clothes. Extra socks and underwear. A few good knives, a simple toolkit. He left his cell, but took his tablet. He emptied the credit cards from his wallet, but kept the cash.

The whole time, a countdown was running in the back of his mind, keeping track of the time it would take Tony to get downstairs, out the lobby, to the Starbucks across the street, place the order. The time it would take the barista to make it.

He would take the stairs down instead of the elevator, and go out through the doors on the far side of the building so he couldn’t accidentally run into Tony on the way. Once he was out of the city, he’d send Tony a message, explaining -- he didn’t want Tony to feel guilty, or think Bucky had left under duress.

He yanked the drawstring on the duffle shut and swung it up on his shoulder, and the timer in the back of his head told him that Tony would be just starting to cross the street back toward the Tower. Plenty of time for Bucky to duck into the stairwell.

He took one last, deep breath and didn’t let himself look around again. He opened the door -- and nearly bowled Tony over.

“Whoa!” Tony stumbled back a little, wobbling a bit to keep from spilling the drink in his hand. “Thought I’d try the new coffee place on the 4th floor, so--” His eyes fell on the duffle and widened. “You’re... You’re leaving?”

Bucky couldn’t look at him directly. It was like staring at the sun. “Tony, I--”

“Fuck. It was really that unforgivable? I don’t even know what it was.” Tony’s eyes were pleading.

“It wasn’t you,” Bucky said desperately. “It’s me, it’s all my fault.”

“Don’t you dare,” Tony said. “I told you it wasn’t your fault, and I’m _fine_ , it’s just a few bruises. I get worse every time I test out a flight system upgrade. Bucky, I... Look, honey, if you... if you don’t want me, then of course you have every right to go, but--”

“Don’t.” Bucky’s voice broke on a sob. “Of course I want you. How could I not?”

“Then why?” Tony begged. “At least... At least take a couple of minutes to drink your coffee, and tell me why.” He held out the coffee, and Bucky’s hand curled around it on autopilot.

He almost broke at the feel of the warmth seeping through the cup. “You’ll just try to talk me out of it.”

“Well, yes. I _love_ you, honey, I don’t want you to go. If you don’t want to go, and I don’t want you to go, then I don’t know why you should go.”

“I don’t want to,” Bucky said. “I _need_ to.” The smell of the coffee was tantalizing, and he tipped a swallow into his mouth. “I _hurt_ you.”

He could _feel_ Tony getting ready to brush it off again, but then Tony stopped, drew a shaky breath, and said, “Yes. A little. You’re right. But I forgive you for that, sweetheart. I know you didn’t mean to.”

“It doesn’t matter if I meant it or not,” Bucky said. “I could do it again. And next time, you might not be so lucky.”

“I’m willing to take the risk,” Tony said seriously. “You’re worth it, to me. You’re worth _everything_.”

Bucky shook his head, unable to answer.

“Look,” Tony said softly, “you’ve had a big shock.”

Surprised irritation jolted through him, gave him enough fire to lift his head and glare. “This is not some ‘overemotional omega’ bullshit thing,” he growled. He hadn’t expected that from Tony, somehow.

Tony met Bucky’s eyes spread his hands disarmingly. “I didn’t say anything about you being an omega,” he pointed out. “Just that you had a shock, which dumped a lot of excess adrenaline in your system. And on top of that, your dopamine supply probably cut off fairly abruptly. That’s basic biochemistry, no gender or presentation bias. And both adrenaline and dopamine are known to affect mental state. For _everyone_ ,” he stressed again. “And those are only two major chemical shifts that took place, that I know of off the top of my head. There were probably a dozen or so smaller ones as well. I’m not a biochem expert, and I definitely don’t know much about superserum biochemistry. But I figure all that chemical wash is bound to mess with _anyone’s_ mental state.”

He paused, clearly waiting for a reaction. Bucky shrugged reluctantly. “I guess.”

Tony smiled, just a little. “Okay, so what if... what if you stay, just for a while, just for tonight. Finish your coffee, get your blood sugar up a little, get your thoughts in order.” He lifted his hands a little higher. “No funny business, I promise. You can have the bed and I’ll sleep on the couch, if you want. And in the morning, if you still feel like you have to go, I won’t argue. But if you’ll let me, I’d like to at least make some arrangements for you. So I’ll know you’re safe.”

It was calm and reasonable, and Bucky couldn’t bring himself to keep arguing. Not when he wanted so much to be able to stay. “All right. Just tonight.”

Tony slumped in relief. “”Thank you.”

Bucky stepped back inside, letting Tony follow him into the living room. He dropped his duffle and sat on the couch, curled up into the corner, and tucked his knees up against his chest. Tony sat at the other end, clearly giving Bucky space.

Tony watched, not speaking, as Bucky took sips of the coffee. The warmth of it seeped into him slowly, easing the tight, cramped feeling in his stomach.

When Bucky was halfway through the cup, Tony said, “Can you tell me what you’re thinking?”

“You deserve more,” Bucky whispered. “You deserve _better_.”

“I don’t think so,” Tony said. “But even if I did, isn’t that my choice to make? Whatever I deserve, I _want_ you.”

“But I’m broken.”

“So? So am I. So are all of us. Honey, if I could only date people who didn’t have any problems, I’d go to my grave still single.” Tony tipped his head, considering. “Also, that would be pretty unfair to this theoretical _better_ person, given my laundry list of issues and character defects.”

Bucky shrugged and didn’t answer. He finished the coffee, but held onto the cup for a while, clutching it in his hands long after all the warmth had leached out of it. After a while, Tony got up and went into the kitchen. He puttered around in there for a while, and when he came back out, he set a plate with a big sandwich next to Bucky on the couch. “I was getting hungry,” he said, and held up his own sandwich in demonstration.

Bucky wasn’t hungry, but he set the coffee cup aside and picked up the plate to be polite. He took a bite, and all of a sudden was _ravenous_. He devoured the rest of the sandwich in short order, only realizing as he was licking mustard off his thumb that he was exhibiting the sort of behavior that his Ma might once have called _appalling_. He looked up sheepishly, but Tony was just watching him fondly.

“Plenty more in the kitchen if you want it,” Tony offered.

Bucky shook his head.

“Okay if we watch some TV?”

Bucky shrugged, and Tony picked up the remote.

Bucky watched the TV mostly because it was there; he wasn’t really paying attention. Every so often, he’d sneak a surreptitious glance at Tony, bathed in the bluish light of the screen and blinking sleepily. Once, Bucky caught Tony looking at _him_ , brow wrinkled with worry, but Tony didn’t say anything, just smiled a little and went back to watching the show.

The next time Bucky looked over, Tony was slumped into the corner of the couch, eyes shut and breathing shallow. Bucky looked more obviously, then, tracing with his eyes the sweep of eyelashes against Tony’s cheek, the laugh lines and crow’s feet, the tumble of hair against the back of the sofa.

Bucky tugged the throw off the back of the couch and spread it out over Tony’s legs and torso. Then he tucked himself back into the corner and watched Tony sleeping until his own eyelids grew too heavy to hold open.

***

Bucky came awake all at once, on high alert, like he hadn’t done for more than a year.

Tony was no longer sleeping at the other end of the couch. In fact, he wasn’t in the room at all. The empty coffee cup was gone, too, as was the sandwich plate. The blanket had been folded and draped over the back of the sofa. His duffel had been moved, and was now leaning against the coffee table in plain sight. On the table was a folded piece of paper.

 

> _Bucky,_
> 
> _You were sleeping so soundly I couldn’t bear to wake you up. I hope you’re feeling better, now that you’ve rested. I hope you’ll reconsider your plans._
> 
> _I love you. I will do whatever it takes to make you feel safe. A different position, or something to wear, or a new cologne, or no sex at all._ _ Anything _ _. Including letting you go, if you really feel you need that. I made you that promise, and I’ll stand by it, even if I don’t want to. I added a couple of things to your bag that will hopefully make things easier, if you still choose to go. I hope you don’t mind._
> 
> _I’m hoping for a lot, aren’t I? Probably too much. But that’s what you give me, every day: hope._
> 
> _No matter what you choose, I will always cherish the time we’ve been together._
> 
> _In love, always,_
> 
> _Tony_

Holy Christ, had he nearly thrown away the best thing that had _ever_ happened to him?

Bucky leapt to his feet and nearly tripped over the coffee table. He stumbled halfway across the room, arms windmilling. He caught his balance and bolted for the stairs at a dead run.

He flung himself into the workshop. “Tony!” It came out as a whispered scream, a hoarse cry of desperation.

But Tony was there, right in the middle of the room, he was _there_ and then Bucky all but collided with him, falling into his warmth. “Tony...”

Tony’s arms were around him, then, holding him close. “I’m here, sweetheart,” Tony murmured, “I’m right here.”

“Tony,” Bucky gasped, half-sobbing. “I’m such an idiot.”

“No,” Tony soothed, stroking his hands down Bucky’s back. “Just hurting. We all do irrational things when we’re hurting.”

Bucky slid to his knees and wrapped his arms around Tony’s waist, pressed his face into Tony’s stomach. “Alpha.”

Tony let out a shuddering breath that Bucky felt rather than heard. He pushed his fingers through Bucky’s hair. “Yes,” he vowed. “Your alpha, for as long as you’ll have me.”

“So that’s forever, then.”


End file.
